A very odd day! BWA HA HA HA HA HAAAAA!
by Nobodysbitch
Summary: Harrys late for dinner. He's all alone in the corridors when ALL OF THE SUDDEN! Singing, Dancing and none of it done by Harry. But who is doing all the Dancing and Singing? R/R please? chap 4 up!
1. Default Chapter

It was dinner and Harry was late because he had to take a shower to get the muck he had been covered in from head to foot in Potions class.  
Harry was innocently walking down the corridors headed for the Great Hall when ALL OF THE SUDDEN!  
A dog jumped out in front of him.  
It was a brown dog with floppy ears and…a sock of its head?  
Harry just looked at it.  
The dog crossed it eyes and started to sing and dance.  
"Holly Molly Lolly come dance with me tonight!  
Shake your butt! Hut! Hut!  
Billy Milly Jilly come dance with me tonight!  
Not to hard! Bard! Bard!  
Old man Jacob owned a house.  
It was cursed by a gigantic louse.  
Da da da daaaaaa!"  
Then the dog disappeared.  
Harry just started at where the dog had stood a few moments before.  
Yes it was an odd day.  
A vary odd day.  
  
THE END?  
  
  
I felt like writing something weird. Not necessarily funny just weird. I was in a vary weird mood when I wrote this.  
I might make another chapter of weird ness if I get enough reviews.  
  
~Nobodysbitch 


	2. Leather! Cheerleaders! and the return of...

La, la, la, laaaaa! Another chapter for your reading enjoyment!  
  
  
  
Harry was a little freaked out by what had just happened.  
But he was hungry so he continued to walk to the Great Hall.  
Then he heard a banging noise coming from the door to his right.  
He opened the door; the sight that met his eyes will haunt him to the end of his days.  
He saw a girl and two boys doing naughty things with leather.  
Harry's eyes grew wide and he slammed the door.  
He started to run when someone ran up the hall screaming.  
"What is it?" Harry said.  
The person stopped. "Your Harry Potter! Can I have your autograph?"  
Harry signed a piece of perchment.  
Then the person resumed their screaming, and ran down the hall.  
Harry started to walk, quickly, the other way when someone jumped out in front of him making him fall on his butt.  
A cheerleader stood in front of him, smiling like a fool.  
"A cheerleader!" He said, narrowing his eyes. "Pure Evil!"  
"Hello!" She said, making Harry flinch in fear. "My! Name! Is! Betty! Gimmie a B! Gimmie an E! Gimmie a T! Gimmie another T! Gimmie a Y! What does that spell?" She asked Harry when she was done signing out the letters with her arms.  
"Um, Betty?" He said slowly backing away.  
"BETTY! Wooooo! Yaaaaa! Yaaaaaaaay!" She started to do back flips, and splits while cheering for herself.  
Harry started to run the other way.  
"Must…Escape…. Evil…. Is…. Afoot!" He said out of breath from running five feet away from the cheerleader. (Man he's out of shape!)  
He looked to see if the cheerleader was still there. (What do you think Sherlock?)  
She was gone!  
He stood rooted to the spot.  
Then the sock-dog came back.  
*Insert gasping sound here*  
The dog crossed his eyes and started to sing again.  
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie,  
That's amoré!  
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine,  
That's amoré!  
Cuz you're everywhere to me  
When I close my eyes it's you I see  
So don't debate  
A player straight  
You know he really doesn't get it anyway!"  
And the dog, once again, disappeared.  
Harry just stared.  
Yes, it was definitely a vary odd day.  
  
THE END?  
  
  
MWA HA HA HAAAA! Yet another chapter of insaneness and quierd stuff! Hope you like! Please review! And if you've never heard of some of those lyrics that the dog sang then you need to listen to more music! The first two verses everyone knows. The next two are by someone whose name I forgot, but want to know, so I can get her CD. The next two are by U2, one of the best bands out there! The last three are by The Offspring.  
  
~Nobodysbitch  
  
Disclaimer: *Points to me and speaks like she's taking to a two-year-old* this is my plot. *Points to J.K.R. still taking like she's explaining something to a two-year-old* these are her characters. *Says in baby voice* Okie Dokie? I think daddy's home from worky Jerky! *Points to a strange man holding a blood-crusted knife* 


	3. Dancing! Breakfast! And days go by! No n...

Hello again! I was up late and thought I'd update so I wrote this really fast! And a note to the last chapter, there actually was no lyrics from U2. There was, but I took them out and forgot that I had…so…my bad. Now I hope this one is a little funnier, enjoy!   
  
  
~*~  
  
Harry was getting very freaked out.  
He looked around to see where he was, as he is quite confuzzled right now.  
So he slowly started to walk down the hall…slowly…. looking around to make sure there are no freaks about…slowly…looking behind shoulder…and KABAM!  
He's hit in the side of the head and falls to the floor!  
He looks up to see…Seamus!  
His eyes were mad and he was drooling.  
Seamus then raised a baseball bat in the air again and…missed Harry by an inch!  
As he…ya know…moved about an inch so he wouldn't get hit….  
Harry stood up and grabbed the bat away from him.  
It was quite easy.  
Seamus just stood there.  
Then it hit Harry…. Seamus was possessed by a DEMON!  
*Insert dramatic music here*  
Seamus fell to the floor.  
"Noooooo!" Harry screams. "It's a terribly cheesy horror movie!"  
*Insert more dramatic music*  
Then it got dark outside and the rain was pouring, the wind was blowing, and the lightning was flashing!  
"No!" Harry said, looking out the window. "The scenery is already setting up! I must put a stop to this!"  
Harry started to sneak around all James-Bond-like, humming his own theme song.  
He stopped outside the Great Hall, debating with himself if he should go in or not.  
"Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No! Yes! Yes No! No! No! Yes! Yes! No! Yes! No! No! Yes! Yes! Yes! Noooooo! Yessssss!  
He nodded his head and pushed open the door.  
Nobody was there.  
Harry took one step and the whole place let off a loud echo.  
*ECHO…Echo…. echo…echo….*  
He stopped in his tacks and took off his shoes.  
He walked, in his socks, up to the Gryffindor table.  
So he got up on the table and started to jump up and down.  
Is he going insane?  
I think yes!  
Harry started to break dance!  
*Shudder*  
"Harry!" A voice yelled at him from Behind.  
He looked to see who it was.  
There, standing in front of him, was Hermione.  
"Harry!" She said again, looking repulsed. "Would you stop that!"  
"I can't!" Harry said, continuing to dance. "It's the only way to stop this!"  
She looked at him.  
"And what exactly is 'This'?"  
"This!" He said. "This terribly cheesy horror movie!"  
"Oh, I forgot about that…go ahead then."  
Harry danced into the night.  
The sun was rising and falling and…duh…days were passing.  
Hermione just watched Harry brake dance.  
Then…about…like…ten days later…Harry stopped.  
"Done." He said sitting down next to Hermione.  
They ate breakfast and all was well….  
  
THE END?  
  
~*~  
  
Ok…That wasn't very funny…. whatever…. I'm not into this story anymore…so I doubt I'll update anymore…maybe in… like… a year…  
  
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of my employer, not necessarily mine, and probably not necessary. 


	4. Harry’s Retribution – Part One Of Three

Two weeks after that unspeakable horror, Harry sits in potions staring blankly at the chalkboard.

They were working on an antidote for poisons. Yes, again.

"Now," Snape said in that greasy voice of his. "Add one pinch of ground vampire fang. Make sure that you're potion is blue before you add it or…"

BANG!

"…It will explode and catch on fire." Snape walked slowly over to Neville's cauldron, or what was left of Neville's cauldron. "Mr. Longbottom," Snape waved his wand to put out the fire. "Fifty points from Gryffindor for, once again, causing mayhem in my class."

Neville looked like he was about to cry. In fact, that's just what he did.

"Waaaa! Boo Hoo! I'm a whiny little fat blob that can't do anything! Waaaa!" Poor baby.

Snape just looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Cease that irritating noise, Longbottom. Detention for a week if you don't stop this instant!" This only caused Neville to cry louder.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Everyone hates me! Booooooo! A…A…A hooooooo!"

Harry had no idea any of this was going on, as he was busy with his antidote. It was still a weird greenish color.

"Daisy petals, ground daisy petals. Check. Three meazore roots, chopped finely and slowly poured in…Check. Two clumps of dirt…*mutters to self* Check. One moldy shoelace…Hmmm…That's what I'm missing!" Harry dropped his list and got down on one knee to begin untying his shoelace.

As he was getting the knot undone, Malfoy strutted by like the big-headed-pompous he is.

Malfoy, being the clumsy git he also is, knocked Harry's cauldron over spilling the concoction all over the floor.

Some of the potion was about to hit Harry when it did a U-turn and splashed right in Malfoy's face.

Malfoy screamed. "Agh! Get it off! Get it off!" Harry just stared at him, trying not to laugh out loud.

No one noticed any of this.

"Hold still Malfoy or it'll crawl in your ears and eat your brains." Harry said this while trying to push Malfoy into Pansy Parkinson's Cauldron, which was filled with a strange bubbling red liquid. She was busy watching Neville cry.

"Eat my brains?! Ahhhhhh! I don't want it to eat my brai…" Malfoy's eyes went blank and his mouth hung open.

"Malfoy? Er…" Harry looked around, suddenly noticing Neville screaming at the top of his lungs on the floor at Snape's feet.

"Mr. Longbottom! Get up this instance!" Neville simply wailed even louder. "Mr. Longbottom!" Snape was starting to look rather nervous.

Harry looked back at Malfoy and suddenly got an idea. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth, "Oh My God! It's Got Him!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Everyone (including Neville) turned to see what had come over The Boy Who Lived.

Snape crossed his arms. "What's got him? And who is 'him'?" Snape said in exasperation.

            "The ghost of the Mutated Pikachu that roams the halls of the dungeons!" Harry waved his hands franticly in Snape's face.

Snape batted Harry's hands away in annoyance. "What the bloody hell are you talking about, Mr. Potter?"

            "What am I talking about? What am I_talking_ about?" Harry shrieked. "Only the scariest monster known to mankind! Wizard and Muggle alike!"

            Snape simply raised a bemused eyebrow. "Mr. Potter, would you shut up and sit dow-"

            Harry jumped up and down. "You don't know! You don't know!"

Snape sighed in irritation. "I don't know what, Potter?"

"You don't know what it can do!" Harry screeched.

"Then why don't you tell me?" Snape said folding in arms.

Harry stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. "I'll tell you…" He took a step forward lazily. "I'll tell you…" He swayed his head. "I will tell you! Wait, what was the question, again?"

"Potter!"

"Wait, wait, I remember." Harry began rubbing his hands together nervously. "It only comes out when you're alone. It'll follow you; oh it'll follow you till you're in the perfect spot. A spot where no one will find you for days...weeks even!" Harry began slightly nodding his head. "It'll suck you of all your blood, but not before licking the bottoms of your feet clean. Oh, yes…it loves to do that." Harry's back slowly began to hunch as he talked. "And when it's done, it'll go back to his secret cave deep down under the school. And to pass the time he'll sabotage the kitchen food, stick "Call me daddy" signs on your back when your not looking so people will laugh at you as you walk down the corridors, eat your homework, hide your socks," Snape didn't seem fazed by any of this. "And steal everybody's left shoe!"

Snape jumped on one of the desks. "Eeeeep! Not my left shoe!"

"Yes," Harry yelled, pointing at Snape. "Your left shoe!"

"Noooooo!" Snape ran out of the classroom in terror.

Neville jumped up from his spot on the floor and ran to the door. "No, Professor!" He screamed. "He wants you to be alone!" Neville ran out after him. No one is sure what came over Neville, but he was determined to protect Snape from the monster.

"Oh, my god." Pansy said, slowly sitting down. "A Mutated Pikachu?"

"The ghost of a Mutated Pikachu." Blaise Zabini corrected her.

"What'll we do?" She whined.

"The question is not what do we will do, but what does he, the monster, _want_ us to do?" Harry said.

"We have to save Malfoy!" Pansy cried, just remembering that Malfoy was standing in the middle of the room in a hypnotic state of some sort.

"Po-er-Harry," Blaise said, stepping forward. "Only you know how to stop this beast and save Malfoy, will you help us?"

Harry thought about it for a moment and then thought about it some more, but not before getting distracted by the zits on Zabini's face and began counting then. After he finished all that he sketched a picture of Cho naked and peeked in Snape's desk for any hints of a pop quiz or two he might have been planning on giving them.

"Alright, I'll help you." Harry said, after drawing boobs on the back of Pansy's neck and snooping through her messenger bag.

"Harry, don't help them." Ron said nastily. "Their Slytherins, for gods sake."

A young Sirius ran into the room. "Yeah, for my sake." A young Lilly ran into the room and glomped him with a pillow. "You're not god!"

Harry looked be withered. "Uh…" But before he could say anything, they ran out of the room.

"Harry, what do we do first?" Pansy asked. Harry stared at her. She didn't seem to have noticed what had happened. In fact, no on seemed to have noticed but him. Harry decided to forget about it and get along with his prank. Rather dumb prank, but a prank all the same.

"Um," Harry, in a thoughtful type gesture, put his hand on his face, as he had always thought it made one look important.  "First, we must go find Snape and Neville and make sure the beast hasn't gotten them yet."

Hermione shook her head. "I can't believe you're going to help them, Harry."

Harry ignored her and the rest of the Gryffindors complaints as he and Zabini lifted Draco onto a silk pink stretcher. Crabbe and Goyle had insisted that Malfoy deserved the best.

_To Be Continued…_

~*~

**Will Draco be revived? Have Snape and Neville been drained of all their blood by the non-existent Mutated-Pikachu-Ghost? Does Neville suddenly have a crush on Snape? Does Blaise Zabini have a crush on Harry? Is Zabini a boy or a girl? Will Ron and Hermione (and the rest of the Gryffindors for that matter) ever convince Harry to not help the Slytherins? Will Harry let the rest of his house in on his plan? What is Harry's plan? Does the author even know? Is she just making this up as she goes along? And will any of them stop laughing about it and tell Pansy she has boobs on her neck?**

**Find out next time on…A Very Odd Day: Harry's Retribution – Part One Of Three**

**I'm back! I was Re-read the other chapters and I realized that my writing has changed a lot since I started this, but my love for this fic hasn't lessened at all.**

**Well, it's about 12:16 in the morning and I'm dead tired. I'm not sure when I'll post this, but when I do you can bet it'll be a few weeks since I've written this.**

**I'm currently writing a co-fic with my good friend, Lord of the Flame. I'm not sure when it'll be up, but It's the funniest parody I've ever written…correction, _co_-written. I'm also working on a fic of my own. My very first attempt at a Draco/Ginny fic. It's called Never Really Existed, but I haven't updated for a while. I've only written two chapters so I think I'll wait till OotP comes out.**

**This chapter is 3 pages long with 1671 words and 7586 characters. The longest AVOD chapter yet! Woo-Hoo!**

**I'm also looking for a beta reader(s) right now; so if you think you're up to the challenge E-mail me. Being my beta reader means you check for spelling and grammar mistakes for ALL things I write.  If you want to only be my beta for a certain story/fic I write or for only HP related fics, that's fine too.**

**References:**

. "I'll tell you…" He took a step forward lazily. "I'll tell you…" He swayed his head. "I will tell you! Wait, what was the question, again?" **– Dharma and Greg**

"And steal everybody's left shoe!" **– Lilo and Stitch**

"…for gods sake."

A young Sirius ran into the room. "Yeah, for my sake." A young Lilly ran into the room and glomped him with a pillow. "You're not god!" **- MST- Marauder Style (The Return) by **Ariana Black** This fic was taken off FF.net a while ago and I don't know if the author posted it on another site or not.**

**~Nobodysbitch**


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